The other morning Abigail and I were driving and this beautiful song came on the radio. A few lines in tears ran down my eyes. This song speaks to many things, but especially for those going through adoption. The song is called "Thy Will Be Done" by Hillary Scott and it was debuted the day Abigail was born.
I'm so confused
I know I heard you loud and clear
So, I followed through
Somehow I ended up here
I don't wanna think
I may never understand
That my broken heart is a part of your plan
When I try to pray
All I've got is hurt and these four words
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
I know you're good
But this don't feel good right now
And I know you think
Of things I could never think about
It's hard to count it all joy
Distracted by the noise
Just trying to make sense
Of all your promises
Sometimes I gotta stop
Remember that you're God
And I am not
So
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Like a child on my knees all that comes to me is
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will
I know you see me
I know you hear me, Lord
Your plans are for me
Goodness you have in store
I know you hear me
I know you see me, Lord
Your plans are for me
Good news you have in store
So, thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Like a child on my knees all that comes to me is
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
I know you see me
I know you hear me, Lord
I encourage you to search the song and listen to it because it's absolutely beautiful! For so long I questioned how my broken heart was a part of His plan. At the end of my prayers I caught my self repeating "Thy Will Be Done" frequently, because most of the time it's the only thing I could think of to pray for through the hurt. A piece of me died on April 24th, 2014 when I was told we would never have children. The piece came back to life exactly two years later when we walked out of the hospital with Abigail. That sweet smile has erased all the pain from those two years of longing for a baby.
When I look at that sweet face I can't help but think about how everything we spoke was done. God's will was done. We spoke that we would have a baby girl named Abigail and that she would arrive in April. Many people thought we were crazy for speaking something we didn't know for certain, but in our hearts we knew this was His plan for us. What I really want to do is shout it from the rooftops that we were right about everything we spoke (except for her being born in the South, but Southern Maryland is still below the Mason Dixon line)! But, I can't take the credit because it was God's plan all along.
After we realized that we couldn't have children we prayed about the next step and the direction we were supposed to take. I had to move so much noise out of my head and just listen. I had to be still and listen, which was much easier said than done. I learned to trust my gut when I felt God leading us in the direction we were supposed to go. We prayed about the gender of our baby and felt that God meant for us to raise a baby girl. From there we decided to call her Abigail Sage and never once did we back down on the desire to see God's plan come to life for our family. Abigail means Joy of the Father, both her earthly and heavenly father. Sage means healing and wisdom. She has made us wiser through this whole journey and has brought healing to my heart. In the Fall, just a few months after we announced our plans to adopt I prayed heavily about her arrival. My type A personality begged God for a sign of when we would meet her. At some point the month of April was laid on my heart. A few months later my friend Kristen and I were talking about when we thought our little ones would arrive and I told her that I felt that Abigail would be coming on April 24th.
Abigail arrived on April 22nd and we left the hospital on April 24th, exactly two years to the date that I was told we would never have children. But wait, it gets better. Abigail was conceived the week we announced our plans to adopt. Mind blown. It's no coincidence. Every step of this has been God's plan for our family and I am so thankful that I stood still long enough to hear what his will would be. His will was done. We took a two year leap of faith and were rewarded in the best way possible.
I look forward to sharing Abigail's birth story with you later on. It will take quite a while to write as so much happened in the week we were in Maryland.
Blessings,
Tyler & Kelsey
