Meet Kristen, my saving grace who was God sent during the beginning of our adoption. We met as two hopeful mamas and now have our babies home. She has the sweetest and snuggliest 3 month old ever named Adrian.
And of course you know me, Kelsey, and our Abigail Sage. Who will be 11 months tomorrow and is wide open all day long!
Earlier today Kristen and I were taking a walk (because hello it's almost 70 in March!). Right before I walk I showed Kristen my new necklace that I had been waiting on for weeks. Abigail has almost been exclusively fed on donor breast milk for a year. This is huge for us. To celebrate our year on donor milk I had a necklace made from some of the milk. You would never know it was milk jewelry and I think it's super pretty. Let's get real, Kristen thinks our obsession with donated milk is weird. And that is totally OK. I know how she feels about it and I appreciate her honesty. But even though she thinks it's weird, she's driven to Williamsburg with me to pick up milk and has let me store milk in her freezer while I spent the day at her house. Now that is a true friend.
From the outside looking in someone could see how alike our lives are. Both of are children were adopted. We've both experienced the wait before our children arrived and the wait to finalization. We both rock Birkenstocks in the summer, have nose rings, and use essential oils. And for the majority of our friendship our hair has been some shade of red for the most part. We've even shared the awkward experience of being mistaken as a couple at a baby expo. It had to be the matching Birkenstocks and nose rings. We do have a couple parenting choices in common like baby wearing (we have the same Lillebaby carrier in different patterns) and baby sleep habits (Adrian is now sleeping in Abigail's rock and play she outgrew).
Yes, we do have quite a bit in common. But the real truth is that our parenting styles are polar opposites and the amazing thing is that never once have we criticized or judged the other for those important decisions. Here's our parenting styles in a nut shell:
Kelsey
1. Cloth Diaper guru (I may have walked out of Fluffy Fannies with 5 diapers today)
2. Traveled the state multiple times for donor breast milk so Abigail could be exclusively breast fed
3. Stay at home Mama
4. Sending Abigail to Montessori until age 5 and then transitioning to private Christian school
5. Gender specific during the adoption process
Kristen
1. Disposable Diapers
2. Formula fed babe (who has the cutest round belly)
3. Going back to work full time as a high school sign language teacher
4. Sending Adrian to public school because they live in an awesome district and have great teachers
5. Did not have a gender preference during the adoption process
There you have it. A story about two best friends that respect and accept each other's parenting choices. It is possible and it's truly not that difficult. The moral of the story, let's stop judging others choices and support other Mamas. The important thing is that we love our children and are doing the best we can in raising them. Each family has different needs and all we can do is make the decision that is best for our individual families. Out of all these decisions we have to make, I personally think the most important decision is to support other Mamas on this crazy parenting journey. We could all use a little more love and kindness in today's society. Keep on fighting the good fight Mamas <3
